Gone

Last Wednesday was my brother's farewell ceremony.  He is in the Kansas National Guard and is on the road to Africa in Djibouti.  I know where he is going is safer than Afghanistan or Iraq, but I am still worried about his safe return.  He proposed to his girlfriend the weekend prior and she said yes :)  I am so incredibly happy for both of them.  The farewell ceremony was very emotional for me and the rest of my family (his family), but it didn't hit me until after I was on my way home.  I stayed strong for him and didn't cry in front of him, I only wanted to make him smile and laugh.  I am going to miss my brother, a year is a long time but I hope it flies by fast.  God speed Matthew, God speed.

Proud sister!

My brother and his new fiancée, Ashley!

Part of the Legion Motorcycles

One of their last hugs

I love this picture

I wanted to make him smile before he left

I'm going to miss you

Very emotional goodbye

Final hug

One of many...

Heroes fighting and protecting our country

GOD BLESS AMERICA.  Thank you to all the soldiers and their families who sacrifice so much, so that we may live in freedom!

Kat

Finally Legal!

My Birthday was February 20th and I turned the big 21 this year!  It was quite the party and I had so much fun! All my closest friends came to celebrate with me, even my best friend and cousin came to surprise me! It was wonderful!  The night started off at about 7 o'clock with Calisa and Emily!  The ladies in the post below!  Then the guests started to show up between 8 and 10 to get the party started!  Needless to say though, I did not make it to the bars.  Wasn't really in a state to go into a bar, let alone stand :)

The pictures say it all:

Shotgunned my first (shot) for the shotbook!

The roommate! :)

Emily and I about to take one shot!

Two of my BEST friends!

The Other Roommate :)

Miss Calisa!

Clearly this shot tasted awful!

One of the final pictures of the night...obviously ha!

Almost My Birthday!

Woot! Only three days until my birthday!  It's the big 21 this year and I am gonna do it big!  I can't wait!  My friends and I are going to have a party and get all B-E-A-UTIFUL! I'll post pictures when the time comes!

However, I haven't posted for awhile, so I'd figure I'd catch everyone up on life as me!  Last weekend I visited Calisa in Emporia, then road tripped to Kansas City to see our friend Emily.  :) we had a great time and went shopping as well!  I cannot wait for those ladies to come down this weekend for my bday bash!

Little Girl

A poem I wrote a few months ago.  It's a sad poem but I hope it touches the hearts of some.

Little Girl

Little girl crying beneath the covers

Pretending she's somewhere else.

She tries to drown it out

And even though it never works

Rocking back and forth 

Seems to help the hurt

Still she hears the voices yelling

Crushing each other with words

She cries harder

Little girl sitting in the hallway

Shaking in her puppy nightgown

The linoleum is so cold beneath her

Sitting on that cold ground.

She tries to stay quiet

And swallows her cries

The yelling gets louder

Little girl stumbles to her feet

Fast as she can

As she sees him raise his hand

Little girl is yelling now

"Daddy why?"

Mommy's on the ground

Tears blur her eyes

As her knees hit the ground

She looks up to see your hand

Coming back around

Your slap stings her face

As mommy's pushing you to stop

You show no emotion

Little girl is crying now

As she looks into your eyes

She knows you see what you have done

Her mommy holds her close

Rocking back and forth

But even as her mommy holds her

Her face and heart still hurt

Tears overwhelmed Little girls life

Her memories still haunt her

She still cries and shakes

And gets tummy aches

Just thinking about you

Going Snowwhere

My snowy self!

Outside my house

Again

Twisted

A tree...

Snow ripples on my car!

Snow Day!

Two snow days in a row at Kansas State University?  Unheard of but definitely true.  Snow day number three tomorrow?  Today my roommates and I went to buy another game for my roommates Wii.  We got the Michael Jackson Experience!  It's actually a really fun game.  However, I am so uncoordinated that I look like Michael Jackson with a gimp trying to dance.  Oh well!  Ironically I just opened up my iTunes and randomly picked a song without looking and it so happened to be the Jackson 5.  Neat!

It is extremely cold out but I really want to make a snowman.  Or go take pictures.  I think that is what I will do. I will return with pictures to post on here of the beautiful snow.

See you soon!
Kat

Cheesin it, but not feelin it

This is my family.  Half of it anyway.  This is my brother who recently just left to go overseas and our father at my brother's going away party.  Last night and tonight I have done a lot of thinking about my life and everything good in it.  Clearly you can tell that I am cheesin it, it's what I do best.  And although I wear a smile and laugh a lot, sometimes I do it for others.  Generally though I am sincere in my happiness but there are times when I just need to break down.  I already miss my brother and he has only been gone for three days.  I wish I had that one person in my life that I could share EVERYTHING with.  I know I have my best friends and believe me they are the greatest people you can ever meet and have in your life (Gina, Cali, Krista, Jonathan, Shelby, Kim).  However, there are always things people keep from their best friends.  But when you're in love that person becomes your best friend.  Maybe I'm lonely.  Hell I don't know.  

Music makes me happy, sad, angry, regretful, and it makes me think.  Here are music quotes of how I am feeling right now that either remind me of my life in the past or relates to what is going on in my life now:

Somebody else was here before,

He treated you unkind. 

But broken wings need time to heal,

Before a heart can fly.

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it,

This brokenness inside me might start healing

Leave me alone to pick up the pieces

A daddy to hold me, thats what I needed

And a part of you might hate me,

Sweety please don't mistake me.

For a man that didn't care at all

Wanting you back to not givin a damn

I felt it all

Didn't you know how much I loved you

Are you gonna kiss me or not?

Are we gonna do this or what?

Baby you're a firework,

Come on show em what you're worth

Should I give up? 

Or should I just keep chasin pavements?

                                                              Me Cheesin It Up Again

I'm pretty random with this posting because I'm about to share a poem with you all:

Dream

Here it is,

A dream come true.

A wish upon a star,

Shining bright,

Illuminating the sky,

My dream, a longing for you.

Nor does it dim or glimmer slightly,

You're a recurrence in my head,

Constantly.

Nightly.

Light headed I awake 

Groggy from sleep

In hopes it was you touching me.

My eyes close again

Weary and weak.

You fall back into my dream,

For in my dream is where you sleep.

The closest we get,

A longing within.

I don't want to wake up again.

Because in here your hands stroke my skin,

Ever so softly you tilt my chin.

But before our lips brush,

I wake up to your touch.

It was not a dream,

And there you are smiling down on me.

Smiling back I look into your eyes,

There I found my wishing star,

Shining bright.

I wrote this a few months ago in class.  I can never seem to focus, so instead I write and day dream. :)

The end.

Until next time.

Kat